What Is Important

On this, the SEVEN year anniversary of the attack that brought down the twin towers, I can’t help but feel a little different. I can’t help but think about what I’m doing and what is truly important to me.

Also, I still can’t think about that day without losing my breath and tears forming in my eyes. I didn’t know anyone who was injured, or worse, that day, but my heart just breaks for those who were, and the families that are still reeling from the events.

I don’t think I’ll ever forget where I was when I found out, or how that day felt. I remember watching the coverage in the evening, sitting alone at the kitchen table, trying to do my math homework. I remember my mom keeping my (then 6-year old) little sister in the den, with the TV on PBS, because they were running the normal after-school cartoons. I remember feeling lucky and grateful that my dad’s flight to New York City was scheduled to leave at around noon that day, rather than the early morning flights he was usually on. I remember crying, a lot.

I could go on and on, but I won’t. If anything can be gained from this, let it be that the empathy and spirit of Americans can continue, and we can save and use the best parts of ourselves from those days. Patriotism is not liberal or conservative and neither is compassion. It’s human.

Confronted with our mortality, what is important to us? If we were to die tomorrow, would we be happy with what we’ve done and what we have?

I know that I am not ready to leave this earth. I still have a lot of life to live and a lot to figure out, but I do know that I feel confident in what I’m trying to do and where my priorities are.

1. Love
   It wasn’t hard for me to realize that love is the single most important thing to me. And because of this, I am SO happy and SO grateful that I have the most amazing person to love, and to love me back. As long as I have that, life can never be too terrible.
2. Family
   My family is extremely important to me. I’m so happy that we’re all so close. As I grow, I feel their love and support behind me even more. I’m not totally and completely 100% sold on having a family of my own. But I think I will, and the idea really excites me.
3. Career
   Here’s where I’m stuck. I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up! I was foolish for not finishing college when the opportunity was practically handed to me on a silver platter. As a result, I sometimes feel hopeless. I have a good, steady job that pays the bills, but it’s not where I see myself forever. But I don’t know where I see myself forever. I love theater, but am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I’m just not good enough to make a living of it out there. That hurts, but I have to be honest and realistic. I love photography and I love baking, but I don’t think I know enough about either to run with the idea at this point in time. Going back to school for a degree in business would be the easiest option, but all I can do with that degree would be to hope to end up somewhere, and doing something, that I love. At 23, I know I have plenty of time to figure things out, but I’m frustrated in not having any great ideas at the moment.
4. Money
   Let’s face it, money is important to most people. I can’t live without money. I would like to have more money. I would like to be able to pay off my debt and go to college and travel and have a wedding and a house and kids… but I would not trade money for any of the first three items on my list, and especially not the first two. As long as I have those, I know I’ll be okay.
5. Cake
   While not a traditional basic need, as long as there is cake in this world, there is good in this world. I speak the truth.

If anything else is gained from the memory of this date, I hope it is that everyone can be reminded of what really matters.

Govern!

David is at jury duty right now. Or, actually he’s at jury SELECTION right now. He left for the courthouse this morning. He was not allowed to bring ANY electronic devices, so no text messages updating me on what’s going on! I won’t know anything until tonight. It’s weird.

It was awesome getting to sleep in this morning. Usually we have to be out the door at 7:15, because we carpool and he works at 7:30. Today, I didn’t get out of bed until 7:15!! I got ready and left for work on my own schedule!! Which of course means I was late. But it was awesome! And I was only late by a minute or two. And it was kind of on purpose, daring anyone to say anything so I could respond, “I’ve been here 10-15 minutes early every day for the past several months!”

Not that I actually start WORKING 10-15 minutes early.

The only bad thing about going our separate ways in the morning is not getting to hold hands on the way to work. But a good-bye hug and kiss was almost as nice. If he get selected, we may be doing a lot of that for a while.

Hope

Lately, I’ve been feeling very scared and nervous for this presidential election. Things like the possibility of McCain getting to chose some Supreme Court judges freak me out. Goodbye Roe v Wade! I used to be okay with McCain’s stance on some issues, but as the campaign has continued, he has moved further to the right to please, it seems, his fellow Republicans.

Reproductive rights are a huge issue to me. See this article for one major reason why I no longer can agree with McCain. While I feel you can still argue the merits of abstinence-only sex education (though I’ll find it laughable), to rule out other options and methods seems ridiculous. Not that abortion should ever be an “option” for birth control, but I do believe that it should be available in a regulated and healthy way.

I have too many major issues this election season to pick just one. The war is a big one too. I really believe that we need to GET OUT. I feel that what we are doing is NOT WORKING. I like Obama’s plan to slowly remove troops and urge Iraq’s leaders to take more responsibility while still addressing the refugee and humanitarian issues.

Healthcare and educationare biggies for me too. David sometimes sees insurances at his work that have $10,000 deductibles. My mom’s cheapie insurance doesn’t even cover all of a preventative visit. But these people have it better than millions of Americans who have nothing. I didn’t have insurance at my last job because it would have been a minimum of $250 per month! I am incredibly lucky to have the insurance I do now. Is Obama’s way the right way to go about it? I’m not certain, but I think it’s something to strive for.

Our educational system right now makes me nervous about having kids. I did okay in school. I even liked school thanks to some great teachers. But what if my kid doesn’t have that? You see so many kids now that seem so developmentally behind based on their age. What kind of adults will they grow up to be? Education is often at the core of who we are and what shapes us into the adults we will be. I believe it is a SHAME that education and teachers are poorly funded and that college costs are astronomical. No Child Left Behind, while good in theory, did not and does not work. Kids need more than standardized test knowledge. We need a change.

Change. And hope. Opponents of Obama say that’s all he talks about. That he’s an idealist. I guess that is the difference between those who support him and those who don’t.  Those of us who do don’t see anything wrong with that. What’s wrong with striving for an ideal solution? What’s wrong with wanting a change for our country? Hoping that we will once again be a country that is respected and admired. I’m not suggesting that those who don’t support Obama DON’T want some of that. But Obama has filled some of us with the hope that it is achievable and the desire to help achieve it. How can that be a bad thing?

David showed me this video last night from the Move On site. I don’t know much about Move On, so I can’t speak at much length about them, but they are a grassroots organizations working for liberal issues. They sponsored a video contest and you can see the results here. But I’d like to share the one that won in the “Funny” category for two reasons. One, it asks when hope became a bad thing. Two, it has Rider Strong whom I still have a crush on from my Boy Meets World days.

 

TGIF

These last couple days of work have truly been terrible. My job is full of technical jargon, so I can’t even explain it to David, let alone the blog world. But I think yesterday was the hardest day I’ve ever worked here. SO much stuff going on. Some of it has trickled to today, but I’m a little brain dead, so it’s easy to care about it less.

So thank goodness it’s weekend time! Tonight, I’m going to see A New Brain at Windfall Theatre. I don’t really know this show, but it’s one of David’s favorites. We also know about half the cast really well. It’ll be fun to sit and watch them perform, rather than being next to them on the stage!

Afterwards, we’re meeting our favorite double date couple, Chuck and Lisa for a late dinner and drinks at Tulip. This place is delicious. I hope we can sit outside, but if we can’t, the atmosphere inside is very nice.

I’m going on a Flickr Photowalk tomorrow with some random photographer people from the Milwaukee area. I’m looking forward to that and getting some artsy shots of the Walkers Point area. David will be helping a friend move. I think our schedule is open in the evening. Maybe we’ll see a movie or just hang at home. Either options sounds nice to me!

In other random news, my scale said 191 this morning!!! YES! That gives me extra motivation to stick with the diet tonight. It would be great to see 190 by Monday. That would be such a nice milestone. I haven’t seen this much weight loss in at least three years. It feels so good!!

I didn’t work out today, but I wanted to! I took the lunch hour off to run some errands, like cash a check that’s been in my purse for two weeks! I wish I could have hit the gym, but these things needed to be done and my bank has a location very close to my work, but nowhere near my house!

Also, it was nice to see one of my high credit card balances is finally under $2,000 and it will stay that way! I found this great calculator for those of us who have multiple credit cards with different interest rates. It was helpful to organize my payments and see when I’d be able to be paid off. By this time next year, I should be debt free!

Downtown Dining Week is coming up soon! I love this, although I’ll have to limit myself to fewer visits than last year due to my desire to stick with my diet. It’s such a fun way to try out new restaurants and get a great meal at an expensive place you might be to poor to visit. Our favorite last year was Osteria Del Mondo. A three course dinner for $20? Yes please!

Since I’m not doing a show this summer (for the first time in at least FIVE years!) I plan to enjoy the heck out of my summer. The kickoff to the summer festival season starts at the end of this month, with Riversplash. I can’t wait to be able to have fun and do what I want with my summer!

I Just Realized

David is a big geek. And I totally love that about him. So it didn’t really come as a surprise that he was super excited to get a jury duty summons a few weeks ago. He filled out the initial info and a couple weeks ago got a potential case assignment. A BIG case. Even I jumped around and screamed with him. Sure, I’m probably not supposed to know about it, but he couldn’t help but tell. Very exciting. He’s not a juror yet, but not only does he want to be, but he wants to be the jury foreman!

I think he’d be great at it. Even though he has heard of the case before, he doesn’t know much about it, and doesn’t really have any opinions on it. So I have my fingers crossed for him. He’s sending back the questionnaire (all 19 pages of it) this week.

If he gets on, he’ll probably be gone from work for 2-3 weeks. He likes that idea! The courthouse is in the opposite direction from our house and my work, so he’d most likely take the bus or get a ride from his dad.

Which means I’ll have the car. And will only be responsible for taking myself to work. Which means I can leave about 20-30 minutes later than we usually do. Which means I can sleep later!

YES!!!! Now my fingers are extra crossed.

Cool

So I went to my company’s “DAY ONE” meeting last night. I am feeling pretty proud to be a part of the new Thomson Reuters.

But mostly I am proud that I was able to avoid the free beer and giant cupcakes that were available at this meeting. Seriously. I get there and everyone is drinking beer and wine. They had Corona! With limes! And a buffet of appetizers. And the cupcakes… oh my goodness the cupcakes were huge. Like bigger than your fist. They looked heavenly. I really wanted one. Badly. Clearly, I’m still whining about it. But I am proud I resisted it.

I haven’t weighed myself yet. I’m going to when I get home. I know this is only the start of my third day, but even a pound or two less than what I’ve been seeing would make passing up that cupcake worth it.

Dang.

So much for me trying to convince people that my neighborhood is safe because it’s by Marquette High School. I live in this area. I know they think they caught the guy and that dangerous things can happen anywhere. It’s not like I walk around my neighborhood alone all the time. I’m already nervous when I have to leave the house or come home alone in the dark. It’s silly, but I’m scared something could happen before I get into the house or car and lock the door. Quite honestly, though, I would never think twice about walking around by myself in broad daylight.

I used to be pretty foolish about personal safety. When I lived near UWM I’d walk alone all the time, day or night. I’d walk a few blocks to a party or a friend’s house at 10:00 at night. And, dumbest of all, there were a couple summer nights I’d walk to the lakefront. THROUGH Lake Park. Alone. I never thought anything could or would happen. And it didn’t. But now I realize that there is a line between being ignorant and naive, and brave.

But still, I NEVER thought I’d have to watch my back if I chose to walk through my busy, urban neighborhood in the middle of the day.

Arrest in weekend assault, robberies

Milwaukee police have a suspect in custody who investigators believe was responsible for three armed robberies and a sexual assault over the weekend.Public Information Officer Bobby Lindsey reported today that the man is being questioned and more information may be released later today.

The incidents all occurred in an area from N. 27th St. to N. 35th St.; between Clybourn Ave. and Wisconsin Ave.

The man is accused of a string of crimes that occurred on Saturday, starting with a case in which he was riding a dirt bike when he approached a 49-year-old woman and attempted to rob her about 10:45 a.m. He also forced her to a secluded area where police said the woman was assaulted.

At 11:30 a.m., the man attempted to rob a 48-year-old woman. Then at 1:40 p.m., the man robbed a 27-year-old woman who is 8 months pregnant, police said.

 

 

 

Caucus

MSNBC just projected Barack Obama to win the Iowa Democratic Caucus. ROCK! I think I support him. I just realized that I wouldn’t have been so interested if anyone else was number one.

Guiliani is 6th on the Republican side. Wicked burn!

Unimaginable

Tragedy. Here and here.

I can’t really write anything intelligent on what happened. I just can’t imagine what their family and friends are dealing with. I’ve already cried about this five times today. And I don’t even know any of them.

 I guess I just had to write something about it. Just to acknowledge the victims and their families. Every time something like this happens, I fear for my own life and the lives of those I love.

I think the part that makes me want to curl up into a ball and sob is the age of the victims. And the shooter for that matter. No one was even 21 yet. Some of them were still in high school. One was a freshman. They had their entire lives in front of them. They had hopes and dreams. I include the gunman in this category. He did something evil, but I also feel sad for him and his family.

 I can only imagine he was in a lot of pain before, during, and after this event. I only he wish he hadn’t chosen this route- a path that has made so many other people feel even more pain.

 I can’t really say much else. I just wish with all my heart that no one would have to suffer like the victims, the gunman, or the families. My thoughts and prayers are with the citizens of that little town.