Blah

Work and consuming too many cheese curds have given me a headache.

But I’m here to report that I am soooo close to 180 pounds, I can taste it. The scale said 180.5 this morning! It briefly hit that weight over the weekend (Friday morning, I think?) but then I messed it all up by eating bad things.

I went to a family reunion on Saturday and there was hardly any South Beach approved food. Throughout the day I ended up eating three pieces of cake (well, two cake, one cheesecake) and a big bowl of chocolate chip ice cream. YUM! (I LOVE CAKE!!!!) I went into a bit of a sugar coma. I did refrain from the free beer.

Speaking of beer, I had a Summer Shandy at the fireworks on the 4th!!!! It was just as wonderful as I remembered! I might allow myself one more before the end of the summer.

Moral of the story is that by Monday morning, the scale said 184. I kicked some South Beach ass these past couple days and now I’m back at my lowest number to date. I feel confident that by the weekend I will hit a steady 180.

While I am impressed with my will power and my badass weight loss so far, I am getting mildly frustrated. I feel like I should look more different. I feel like I should be fitting into size 14 pants. I know I’m thinner, especially through the waist. My backfat rolls (you know, the stuff that gets squished by your bra) are almost completely gone. But I’m feeling anxious about getting to the weight I want. A few months ago I really never even wanted to be out in public, because I was so embarrassed of my body. I’m over that, but I’m worried that the body I’m hoping for in my mind won’t ever be seen in the mirror.

Then I remind myself that 180 (.5) pounds on a 5’7″ girl is still A LOT of weight. My goal, again, is 140-150lbs. My body will HAVE to look a lot different then, right? I have a feeling (and I’m hoping) that the next 20 to 30 pounds will be the ones that really change my body.

I’ve been on this diet for less than three months. 20-25 pounds is GREAT! I have to keep telling myself that. The weight will come off slower and it will be harder to take it off as the months progress. I figured it would take me about a year to lose all the weight. But here I am, almost halfway to my (at least) 50 pound goal. I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m just soooo impatient to GET THERE!!

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9 Responses to “Blah”

  1. crazygina Says:

    wow that’s great!! congrats!!
    It has taken me over a year to lose just 15 pounds. My body is little, only 4’11” and oh man does it all just cling to me!! So losing weight has always been tough for me. Lots of working out and watching what I eat, and oh man, the beer. Cutting out beer for a few months made such an improvement on my health! Keep it up!! I know it seems like you can’t really tell too much now, but you’re on a great track!

  2. kelly Says:

    Ever since I read the first line of this post, I have been craving cheese curds!!

  3. Erin Says:

    It’s SUCH hard work, but you are kicking ASS girl. And you’ve come so far! The final goal seems far away, but it’s really not, and you’ll get there, and it’ll be awesome.

  4. Andrea Says:

    You can do this! Don’t give up. Just think about how you will feel and look [you WILL look different] when you meet your goal. Plus, you’ll be able to post your after photos and be so proud.

  5. Ginesa Says:

    I am so incredibly proud of you, and I barely know you! LOL
    Losing that much weight in 3 months is fantastic – it’s taken me almost 7.5 months to lose 30lbs, so I think you’re really doing great!

    You can definitely do it, and I can’t wait to hear all about it when you get there!

  6. Sierra Says:

    Tasha, this is an AMAZING accomplishment! You should be really proud of yourself. 🙂 You can see it through, it will just take time. You seem very motivated and you can do it!

  7. cupcakes Says:

    maybe this was just a rant blog. maybe i am just not used to everyone being so vocal about all their inner thoughts so publicly. but natasha, i sighed a huge sigh reading your blog. and not a good sigh.
    for you to find a comfortable line between your social life, your desires, your body, etc., you cannot force change. it should not be a pain in the ass. losing weight is not about changing your body, its about changing your lifestyle, and you have to find the line between what you want in your life, and what is comfortable for you in your own skin. you are healthy. even at 140 pounds, you won’t always be happy with your body. now, i know i am not the thinnest girl on the block, but if you want this to work long term, you have to embrace where you are at now. all along my path, i said if i don’t lose another pound, i am still proud of myself. that started 5 years ago.

  8. tashamort Says:

    CC. Yeah, this was pretty much a rant. Just being whiny. I wish I could say “SEE, I’m being good! I’m learning how to eat healthy! I know the kind of food and lifestyle I need!” and then I’d magically be the weight I want to be and all I’d have to do is maintain that. I’m just not a patient person. I want to be to the point where I can go out on the weekend and have a couple beers with friends, and be healthier during the week to make up for it.

    I don’t feel like I can do that now, because then I spend the week working off those extra calories and I’ll never advance in my weight loss. I sometimes feel like I just want to BE THERE already. The work is hard!

    But you’re right, there will always be days when I’m not happy with my body. And you (and all you other commenters) have reminded me to be proud of myself. Because I am, I really really am. Even if I were to stick at this weight, I’m SOOO proud and happy that I’ve taken up a healthier lifestyle. I have always thought that you are a very happy and content person, and people like that are an inspiration to me.

  9. It's MSOJ Says:

    Hiya, I landed back here for the first time in a while and immediately drew my attention to this entry.

    Firstly, just last night I was writing to someone and explaining to them how I once suggested that you TELL your (fiance) just what the scale said, and how the point in doing so would be to reduce the additional stresses (and possible weight) placed upon you by harboring the ‘secret’.

    Nextly, Cupcakes’ remarks above first hit me in a negative way but after additional thought and consideration I can at least identify her intentions being fair and sincere.

    It isn’t “lifestyle” that you need to change, at all… it is your own outlook or sense of yourself while living your lifestyle.

    It is wrong to make a blanket statement that “180 lbs. on a 5’7″ girl” is this, or that, automatically…

    (jumping from topic to topic here)… the main flaw in the whole “weight loss” thing relates to the “target weights” and such. People who engage that way get into this whole “pass or fail” mentality, and it defeats the whole effort.

    Logically, even if your “goal weight” was 150… and you just couldn’t beat your body up enough, or starve it enough, to get below 158, it makes sense to recognize that ‘Tasha is a very attractive girl, and that only a moron (inside of the subject, or outside and admiring her) would recognize any difference at all between her at 150 and her at 158.

    Therefore, it is the psychology of the whole endeavor that needs to be altered the most.

    If, as a psychological exercise only… fiance A announced her weight to fiance B every night before bed… fiance B would keep hearing the same general numbers, varying by 1, or 2, or even tenths of a pound, and in (a short) time it would become as dull and boring as watching grass grow.

    (translation: it’s a GREAT IDEA!)

    When you reach the point where NEITHER ONE OF YOU are concerned about your weight for reasons other than those directly health-related, THEN you will have effectively altered your outlook.

    Personally, I just wish I knew your exact weight in June of 2004… so then I could have some sense of, um, “appreciation” for where you are now.

    And I wish you knew clearly just how completely-a-NON-issue your weight was at that time.

    Hooray for Natasha!!

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