Archive for October, 2008

Halloween and Baking

October 29, 2008

Okay, here we go. Some pictures. These are from the last two weeks or so. I still have things to talk about from even further back, but that will have to wait again!

I have been baking like a madwoman. Why? Because this baby has been in my kitchen for the last two weeks:

My mom’s Kitchen Aid mixer. Sure, I can bake things without a mixer, but this puppy makes the impossible possible. Including creaming butter and sugar, because I do not have Popeye muscles. This is probably to me what pictures of sexy sportcars are to men:

So I have been baking up a storm. Since I borrowed the mixer, here is a list of what I have made, along with pictures, if I remembered to take them, and some comments.

For Bosses Day, I made Apple Pie Cupcakes (again) for my work and Peanut Butter Nutella Brownies for David’s work. They were all a big hit.

Then I attempted to make Slime Filled Cupcakes for Sandy’s Halloween Party. I had never made a lime curd, or even a lemon curd before, so I was really wandering into uncharted territory. At first, things seemed fine.

But as it cooled, it turned into this lumpy green jello stuff. And it tasted TERRIBLE. It was like lime x1000. It was just sick. So at the last minute, I had to switch my game plan. I had already made the cupcakes and the green buttercream frosting from that recipe, but I wanted it to be a little more special. So I filled them with chocolate buttercream frosting from this recipe. They were still a big hit. The cupcake batter was pretty easy and tasty. They were pretty light and fluffy. I would definitely use that batter again.

I made these Margarita Cupcakes for a party I had during the week. I know someone took pictures of them, so I’ll have to share later. Yeah, it uses a box mix, but it also uses real tequila. They were not your typical cupcake, but they were tasty.

I had a whole bunch of leftover chocolate and vanilla frosting, so I thought I’d try out another cupcake recipe to use it up. Later that week I made Vanilla Brown Butter Cupcakes. OMFG SO GOOD!! This might be my favorite recipe yet! The cakes were very dense and rich. And… they don’t even use the mixer! So I can still make cupcakes when I finally have to give it back. Surprisingly, they were totally amazing with the chocolate frosting. I had never browned butter before, and must have had beginners luck, because it was almost perfect. SO GOOD!

I made these Apple Hand Pies(or as I like to say, pocket pies) over the weekend. We had some friends over to carve pumpkins and eat them. These things are AWESOME. The dough was a lot of work, and I know I can do better, but it was worth it. The final result was so tender and flaky and warm and just.. MMMM!! It’s not a great way to use up my apples though, as I only used three for the recipe.

Also on Sunday I made Oatmeal Jumbos. They did not turn out very jumbo. I needed to use up some chocolate chips and some mini peanut butter cups. The cookies were good, but I think the batter got too warm, I over mixed it, or my baking soda is bad. Or all three. They were very flat. But they were still tasty. It made a HUGE amount of cookies. David and I both took a bunch to work, and they didn’t last long.

Monday night I made good old Chocolate Chip cookies. I’m pretty sure my baking soda has given out on me, because these again weren’t as thick as I had expected. They were still plenty chewy and delicious. Are they the best chocolate chip cookies ever? Quite possibly. I just bought more baking soda, so I will be trying these out again soon.

Also on Monday night I made up the dough for Shortbread Cameo cookies from my Sweet Miniatures book. The dough is in my fridge, just waiting to be cooked up.

 

Sandy’s  Halloween Party was super fun. I left a little early to finish up the night at a friend’s bachelorette party after I didn’t win the costume contest!! That’s okay, I was close. Being an election year, there were a number of political costumes. I went as Sarah Palin and David went as Joe the Plumber.

The “redneck” was wearing a wifebeater that said “GOD IZ REPUBLICAN” and the “clown” had a sticker that said “Votin’ for McPainin’.” Ohh, funny people.

There was also a hockey mom.

And Peanut Butter Jelly Time. And a Ceiling Fan.

And even the USA.

His costume was interactive. He has a real tattoo of Wisconsin on his back. So he brought markers and we all got to finish the US across his body. Hilarious.

The rest of my party pictures can be found HERE. And Cristina, apparently I stopped caring about taking pictures after I started mixing rum with my punch. So I missed a lot of action and a lot of people and a lot of costumes. 😛

Finally, check this out. It’s hilarious!!

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What Happens

October 20, 2008

When sisters are on Facebook at the same time…

Weekend Bits

October 20, 2008

I’ll have to do a crazy picture post soon, but in the meantime, there are two things I just had to get out.

I got an oil change and a headlight replaced for $28 on Friday night. I kind of hated to play into the dumb girl flirty thing at Scrub-a-Dub, but it just happened. Not only did this nice guy give me $6 off, even though I forgot my coupon, but he “forgot” to charge me for the headlight. When he noticed his mistake, I said he could ring it back up and I’d pay for it, but he decided not to. Well, I’m not going to argue with that!

However, this one dude gave me his number. Yes. For real. I was mortified. His name was Tommie. And it came with an explanation. He lives with his sister and he “doesn’t have a phone right now, and it’s her home number, so if a girl picks up, that’s who it is.” But I can just ask for him.

Can you even believe that I didn’t leap out of the car and jump his bones right then and there?!?!!! My willpower must be STRONG, because I was somehow able to resist.

You know what though, props to him for being brave and taking a chance. He did say something along the lines of “I’m just giving it to you in case… you don’t have to call. I won’t be hurt” so I don’t feel too guilty. But seriously dude, get your life together before you go trying to pick up chicks!

So even though I was embarrassed as all hell, I told David. And he in turn told his dad and his friend. Now they would like me to be in charge of getting their oil changed too. Good lord.

Also, David gave me a present!! We’re so bad at waiting to give each other gifts. I guess he bought this for my birthday or Christmas, but was itching to give it to me. It’s from a used bookstore, so I don’t feel too bad. Plus it’s awesome, and I can definitely use it well before the holidays.

It’s this cute cookbook called Sweet Miniatures.

I’ve been reading it since he gave it to me, and it looks awesome! I can’t wait to make one of the recipes. If my Pick N Save has rice flour, I’ll make the “Shortbread Cameos” this week! It’s all about tiny desserts. Tartlets, petit fours, mini cookies, and other “one bite” desserts. It’s awesome! Plus she has a great introduction about some of the logistics and science and techniques of baking. I’m fascinated. I’ve been cupcake crazy lately, so I can’t wait to dive in to some new recipes!

Baby Fever

October 17, 2008

The other day, seemingly out of nowhere, I thought “I want a baby!” I think I was having one of those “If I died right now, would I regret anything” moments. Just to keep myself in check. Carpe diem, after all. The first thing I thought of was that I would die without having been a mom. Not that I’d want to die with a little baby in the world.

WTF am I talking about?

Anyway, I think this is all because it’s that time of the month, and my hormones are really just making me insane. It’s almost fun to see which side of my crazy comes out around this time. Almost. Usually, I’m over emotional. Rarely, I’m angry. Sometimes I just want to hibernate for a week. This is a new side. I went baby crazy.

David told me about seeing a cute little baby at his work, probably not even a month old, wake up from a nap and stretch in her stroller as her mom wheeled her by. Adorable. I thought again, I want one!!!!

Then hell opened up her great maw and poured heaps of babies into my path. Or so it seemed. We stopped at the grocery store on the way home from work, and I swear to God I have never seen so many babies in one place. I mean, babies everywhere. At ever aisle we turned down, there were families. With babies. There were cute little Asian babies riding in the cart. There were blond haired, blue eyed babies wandering along side their dads. There was a teeny tiny baby strapped to a mom’s chest. Babies at every turn. Even outside in the parking lot. I’m so sure my period caused this, but thank God for it anyway, or I might have been in trouble 9 months from now.

Besides, if I were knocked up, think about all the awesome stuff that would be off-limits. Soft cheeses, sushi, alcohol. Very sad.

And so, I think I’m coming down from that baby high, though I still feel it in the back of my mind. Yes, I want kids. Someday. Not now.

If you’re not already looking it up or picturing it, the woman in this awesome and infamous commercial is a pretty accurate portrayal of the Natasha from yesterday…

Just Random

October 16, 2008

I think I have a big crush on Kanye West. Is this weird? How about my major crush on Johnny Knoxville? That’s a little weird, isn’t it? I never watched Jackass. It was seeing him in the movie “A Dirty Shame.” Oh my, I think I’m blushing. Do you have a weird, random crush?

The software at Mint.com seems pretty cool. And free. I don’t like when it tells me I have spent $470 on Healthcare in the last 30 days though, exceeding my budget of $50. 😦

I made Apple Pie Cupcakes again, this time for Bosses Day at work. Everyone loved them. This makes me feel great!

Right now, there is a Kitchen-Aid mixer in my kitchen. <insert singing angels here> My mom let me borrow hers because I am doing a lot of baking this week. I could really get used to having one. That’s dangerous!

I will be making cupcakes on Saturday and next week Tuesday. And possibly the Wednesday and Thursday after that. I’m in cupcake heaven! Tomorrow I am making a lime curd for my Saturday cupcakes. I’ve never made a curd before. It sounds scary and gross. But I bought 12 limes today, so it better work out!

I was able to watch all of the episodes of Project Runway that I missed, along with the finale, AND the debate last night. I was watching TV until 11:00, but it was worth it. I was totally impressed with all three final collections. I’m happy with who won, though I would have been thrilled with either of the top two. But my mind keeps going back to this dress that Kenley made… I want it!!

I’m way behind on that whole “100 things” post that bloggers are doing. Where you list 100 things about you on your hundredth post. Well, my hundredth post blew right by me, so then I thought, I’ll do it when this blog has been around a year. Well, that’s gone too. I’m kind of working on one. So I guess if I post it, it will really be random. In the meantime, here’s an entry I wrote exactly one year ago today. It’s pretty uninteresting, unfortunately.

Does asparagus make your pee smell funny? Actually it does, but did you know not everyone has ability to smell it? Weird!! That’s according to Wikepedia. Apparently I do. Just saying.

  • * Should I have used bullet points for this post? Hmm…

Money Thoughts

October 14, 2008

I just had two little cavities filled yesterday. And I’ll have to have TWO more appointments for cavities. It was my first time getting a filling, and I’m not looking forward to having it done two more times. I’m getting so sick and tired of having my mouth messed with. I know it has to be done so it doesn’t turn into something worse, but ENOUGH already!! I’ve always had problems with my teeth. I had braces for a long time and had teeth pulled to make room for adult teeth when I was little. Now it involves wisdom teeth and cavities. Fun stuff. Expensive stuff.

David’s birthday is “coming up.” I use quotation marks because my birthday is before his! But as much fun as I like to have for my birthday, I will be happy with a nice dinner and lots of cake. HIS birthday is the big thing. It’s his golden birthday! And we want to do something cool. He’ll be 27 on March 27th. If you’re big on numbers and numerology, that’s turning 27 on 03/27/09. Neato!

So we’ve been discussing what to do. First we were considering a week in Disney World, but are thinking it’s too expensive. So now we’re thinking about a long weekend in Chicago. Rent is coming to Chicago the first weekend of April, and that is when we want to go! We’d go on a Thursday and stay until Sunday. We’d go to a couple of museums and possibly go to a taping of this radio show David loves, Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me.

Between hotels and transport and sights and food (trying to keep it cheap but splurging on one nice meal) it could cost about $950, not including spending money. That is a lot of money. Wow. About half of what Disney could cost, sure, but it’s only for three nights!

Plus we want to do something in Milwaukee on his birthday night. We’re thinking Potawatomi Casino. We could do a reasonable dinner for just the two of us, and then meet up with a bunch of friends for some gambling fun. It would be awesome to go with more than the $50 we have brought in the past. Maybe $100 each? We also have enough time to learn how to play more than slots. I’d love to spend a long time at the gaming tables, maybe playing craps and blackjack.

I feel like I always get special stuff and good presents and that David just takes such great care of me. He deserves an awesome time like this. Like a lot of guys, he’s not big on the birthday stuff, but he is excited about this. And he should be! It’s an exciting birthday and an excuse for a birthday celebration like he has never dreamed of.

He should be getting a decent tax refund, and I am due to get a nice bonus in March (if this economy messes with that, there are not words for how pissed I will be). I have about $500 in a CD that matures in February. So none of this will really have to go on a credit card, which is nice. I just have a mental block about spending all that money in one go, especially when I know it should go towards my credit card debt.

Okay, so here are numbers… we’re optimistically guessing David’s refund to be around $1,000. My bonus should be around $1,200. So if we take his refund and my $500 CD, I could put my whole bonus as a credit card payment, and we could have a $1,500 birthday bonanza. I guess that’s not the end of the world. As long as I don’t daydream about ALL that money ($2,700[!!!!]) going towards my credit cards. But it wouldn’t anyway, because that refund is HIS refund. If he’s putting it all in for birthday fun, the least I can do is contribute the $500.

Okay, I think I just needed to type that all out. It’s still a little scary, but I think it’ll be worth it, right? It means my credit cards won’t be paid off immediately, and maybe that “dream” wedding will be pushed back (though lately, again, I’m considering the whole eloping/destination thing) but I have to find that balance between living in the moment and planning for the future. And I think we could do a lot worse than this.

Am I being stupid with my money? Feel free to tell me if you think so. It’s hard to take a step back from a personal situation like this.

Sunday Afternoon Baking

October 13, 2008

75 degrees in October? Not really an ideal day for slaving away inside over a hot stove, but somehow it was just perfect for me. There was a beautiful breeze blowing through the open window and warming rays of sun shining in on me. Heaven!

David and I went to church (two weeks in a row!!) and then went grocery shopping (including Trader Joe’s!!) to pick up stuff for today. I got these great curry chicken tenders from Trader Joes for lunch. Yummy! After a relaxing lunch while watching Heroes (OMG!!), I retreated to the kitchen to bake before the Packer game started.

Saturday afternoon David and I went apple picking with some friends at Barthel Fruit Farm. It was a little warm for my usual apple picking “uniform” (hooded sweatshirt for protection from scratchy trees and pockets for carrying apples down from a ladder) but I’m really not going to complain about beautiful weather in October.

Golden Delicious apples had just ripened and the trees were full. I was also able to pick a couple Spartans and Jonathans and a handful of Cortlands. Of course I had to sample.

So, armed with freshly picked apples, I knew I had to bake something to use some of them up, because there’s no way we can eat 10 pounds of apples before they go bad! I chose a recipe from Annie’s Eats blog, of Apple Pie Cupcake fame. These were Apple Crumble Bars. Kind of like apple pie, but in bar form.

I took a little liberty with the recipe. It’s a little scary to play with base ingredients in baked goods, but I made some simple substitutions and additions, and it turned out great. Click on that link above for her recipe and instructions, but here’s what I did…

Apple Crumble Bars
Ingredients:
For the base:
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/3 cup whole wheat pastry flour (Bob’s Red Mill. Regular whole wheat flour would work too, but sift it)
2 tbsp. sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 stick unsalted butter, at room temperature

For the filling:
Approximately 5 cups of peeled, cored, and chopped apples
5 tbsp. sugar (can substitute 1 or 2 tbsp. with brown sugar)
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
2 tsp. cornstarch
2 tbsp. lemon juice (fresh squeezed!!)
1/4 cup fruit jam (I used a low-sugar strawberry preserves from Trader Joe’s)

For the topping:
1/2 cup flour (I used a half cup measuring cup, and filled it about 2/3 with all-purpose flour and 1/3 with whole wheat pastry flour)
3 tbsp. sugar (I substituted 1 tbsp. with Maple Sugar from The Spice House)
4 tbsp. butter, softened

I still used the same preparation method from Annie’s Eats recipe.

Her recipe called for 4 medium sized apples. I had to guess at this one, because most of my tarty apples (Spartan, Jonathan) were very small. So I used a whole bunch of apples, and it was about 5 cups when they were peeled and chopped, and that covered the 8X8 pan pretty well.

These get cooked down with the sugar and cinnamon. I sprinkled a little of that Maple Sugar in there too. Then the slurry of lemon juice and cornstarch is added. If you don’t have one of these adorable little wisks, a fork would work too. 😉

Next is the base. It’s super easy and doesn’t need a mixer (a bonus for me, since I don’t have one). I used a fork and my fingers because I don’t even have a pastry blender. Just keep blending the butter until the consistency looks like breadcrumbs.

This is then pressed into the foil-lined pan. I didn’t press too hard, but I didn’t let it stay crumbly either.

This is then baked, and the jam is spread on, topped by the apple mixture while it’s still warm.

The topping looks pretty similar to the base, and when it’s all combined, it’s poured on the top of this deliciousness and baked. I added a little more maple sugar and cinnamon to the top before putting it back into the oven.

It comes out golden brown and delicious. Be sure to let it cool for a while before cutting into it, because the crust and topping are very soft at first.

I put mine in the fridge for a little bit to really firm up the crust. I found it easiest to eat with a fork and plate, but the crust is sturdy enough to pick up by hand. Just cut the pieces small!

It would be great with some whipped cream or vanilla ice cream, but David and I dug in with a tall glass of milk, and it was still delicious.

Try it! Yum!!

Cupcake Crazy

October 8, 2008

I am feeling obsessed with cupcakes right now. I’ve spent the last two days at work feverishly pouring over recipes. Sometimes I get distracted by brownies or cookies, but I always work my way back to cupcakes. I like them because I love cake and they’re individually portioned. I’ve always liked the cake part better than the frosting part, even when the frosting is rich and delicious buttery buttercream, and a cupcake generally has a better cake-to-frosting ratio for my tastes.

Of course, there are many factors that would go into my decision to eat a cupcake or a piece of cake, but that is neither here nor there.

I like the easiness of cupcakes. I mean, they’re mini cakes!! While I might not bake a cake for a casual party or get-together, I would definitely bake cupcakes. There really isn’t any other treat that is both individually sized, and cake.

And so, I think I have finally found the recipe I will make for my mom’s Halloween party. I thought about making those Apple Pie Cupcakes again, and tinting the buttercream frosting orange, and I found a recipe for Pumkin Spice cupcakes, but there was no clear winner.

Until now. I present the Vampire Cupcakes. Not only are they appropriately creepy, but I think that touch of cherry pie filling will be tasty. I’m not huge on fruit pies, and I’m especially not huge on fruit pie filling from a can. But I think this small amount hidden inside each little cake will be okay.

If I’m brave and have the time, I might try to figure out how to create a filling from my mom’s homemade strawberry jam. The recipe as is claims to have a somewhat runny filling that still doesn’t get totally absorbed by the cake. I’m thinking I could do that with some slightly watered down and pureed jam… maybe cooked with a little melted butter? Hmmm… I’ll experiment. I might also change the “marshmallow frosting” to something with white chocolate and/or cream cheese, though I don’t want to lose any of the whiteness.

My mom’s party is on Friday, October 31st. Incidentally, that’s also her birthday! That means I need to get her a birthday present! My standby has always been a spa gift certificate, but it sometimes feels like a cop-out. I’m sure she’d appreciate a gift card to REI, but I just don’t know if I can get a gift card for my mother. It just doesn’t seem right. So inbetween obsessing over cupcakes, I have been obsessing over potential gifts. It’s HARD!

Despite constantly looking at pictures of amazing baked goods, I have been GREAT on my South Beach Diet so far this week (and yes, I know it’s only Wednesday). I started over with Phase One on Monday, and haven’t cheated, except for a couple tiny bites of Vosges’ Red Fire Bar. I’m proud, because this week my company is celebrating “National Customer Service Appreciation Week.” This means there is food and candy and treats EVERYWHERE!! Yesterday there was a cookout for lunch, and I ate a burger and brat without buns and skipped over the entire dessert section. And I ignored the cheesy potatoes. I have not touched any of the candy bowls spread out across my department. I hope to remain strong for the rest of the week.

When David mentioned Taco Bell a couple days ago, and Cubanitas as a possibility for dinner on Friday, I remained unmoved. I am yearning for Cubanitas, but I will do without. The desire to get back on track and lose weight is again greater than the desire for all that yummy food. I still plan on reaching 170 by the end of the year, but I have to get my act together! With all the food and holidays yet to come this year (not to mention my birthday, where I will eat LOTS of cake!) I really need to get to 170 by December. 10 pounds in two months? I can do it!!

Clinging

October 7, 2008

I went back to “my” church on Sunday. I almost can’t get over how friendly people are there. We had two random adorable old ladies come up and talk to us, because they didn’t recognize us. And the pastor came up and talked to us before the service. All the people I’ve talked to there seem genuine. The sermon (homily?? I don’t know what to call these things outside of Catholic church) is real. I can relate to it. I can use those ideas and teachings in my real life. These people are truly “Christ-like” to me, and are examples of how I want to lead my life. I still identify with Catholics and Catholic mass, but I can’t say I ever felt like this when I go to a Catholic church, even within the last year.

I wouldn’t classify myself as a particularly religious person. I do not blindly follow or believe. I question. I think about what it means to live a good life. My number one response to that is to “Love thy neighbor.” That pretty much sums up the most important way to live well, in my book. I get the feeling that this church agrees with me.

This past Sunday’s service involved Communion. For anyone who has ever been to a Catholic mass, Communion is a BIG DEAL. It’s strange to me to only celebrate Communion once a month, but whatever. Maybe it makes it that much more special and meaningful. It was certainly the most relatable Communion service I’d ever experienced. The (female) pastor talked all about how each of us is like a single grain of wheat, but with God, we become a whole loaf of bread. Okay, sounds cheesy, but it worked. We’re all connected, whether we like it or not, and we have to help each other out. I like it.

I never thought I’d be excited to join a church, but I am! I was told the next new member classes start in November. I hope we’re able to take them. Yes, “WE.” David wants to join to. Or, at least he’s okay with joining. He even took Communion. I almost cried, for real.

I used to deny and ignore this spiritual side of me, but I’m learning to accept it. I’ll never be someone who Praises His Name!!!!!! all the time (ala crazy fake seeming Televangelists), nor will I blindly believe religion and ignore science, nor will I allow a church to control my life. And it looks like I won’t have to, now that I’ve found a church that doesn’t want to!

Woes

October 3, 2008

I watched the VP debate with my dental bills spread out before me. I always want to help others, but in times like these, I really need to help myself. I had great respect for Joe Biden when he admitted that assistance to foreign countries could not be as great until we solved our problems at home. This is also why I really respect the Obama/Biden ticket for wanting to end the war quickly and carefully.

I also believe that I will have more money in my pocket under the Obama/Biden tax plan. Is it fair that big companies and people making over $250,000 get taxed a little bit more? No, I honestly can’t say that’s FAIR, but I’ll be perfectly honest… It’s really difficult to have sympathy for those people while I sink deeper into debt and the dream of ever owning a home slips farther away.

I don’t want their money. Rather, I want the money in my pocket that Obama is promising me. I want the regulations on Wall St and I don’t want my employer to pay taxes on my health benefits.

This is really not supposed to be about politics. It’s supposed to be about the money pit I’m in.

I am trying to think about EVERY SINGLE PENNY that I spend now. Last month was a disaster. I drove up to Eau Claire to visit my sister and we drove to the Mall of America. I gave myself about $100 to shop with. I spent $120 on myself. Not bad. Except then I also found Christmas gifts for people and spent another $60. I try not to give myself too hard of a time about that, because if it’s Christmas and if I didn’t spend it now, I’d just spend it later. Oh, and don’t forget about the $60 tank of gas I had to use.

The next weekend we went camping and had a tent disaster in which we had to BUY A NEW TENT. “Only” $30, but still. That Sunday was the Packer game that I went to. $200 for two tickets. It was a great deal, and I had to go. The value of the experience was worth much more than $200, but still… I had to empty out my accounts and David and I lived off my credit card for the next week. And again, with the tank of gas.

These are all things that I would have had money for throughout the year, but the fact that it all happened in two weeks was pretty tough. Still, I feel like I start fresh with each new paycheck, and so far I’ve done pretty well and payed off the extra stuff I put on my credit card.

I got the final crown put on my molar on Monday. So far, so good. My dentist wasn’t worried about it not “working,” and so I’m feeling pretty good about it. Until I added up all the bills. Between the root canal and the crown, the amount I’m responsible for is $760. That is a lot. I mean, A LOT A LOT A LOT. And I have dental implants to look forward to in about 5 years or so.

My dad might be able to help me out, but right now I owe him about $300 for my car and cell phone (David and I just went on his family plan to save money.) So to be fair, it’s a wash. I have already paid about $400 on that dental bill, $200 from my savings and $200 on my credit card.

So now I have another $360 to deal with. It will have to go on my credit card, because my savings is empty. I had been hoping and dreaming about paying off my credit cards by next summer, but now it doesn’t look like that will happen. It is so frustrating, because I just want this debt GONE.

A couple months ago I was feeling good about paying it off and saving for a wedding sometime soon and taking a nice trip for David’s golden birthday. Now I don’t know where I am anymore and it’s frustrating and a little heartbreaking.

I’m trying to take it one day at a time. Do I need that cup of coffee? Why would we pick up dinner when we have a box of Mac & Cheese at home? I guess that’s all I can do right now, and hopefully I’ll be halfway out of this hole again sometime soon.

Whew. <end pity party>