Calgon, Take Me Away

I wish I could go on vacation right now. I’d leave town tomorrow if I could afford it. But I can’t, so I’ll try to chill out by reliving the second half of my Vegas vacation. Live! Right now!! Right here on my blog!!! Can you tell I’m strung out?

We decided to sleep in for as long as we needed on Wednesday. We planned on staying up all night Thursday, until heading to the airport, so we figured it would be good to get the rest now. However, I didn’t really anticipate sleeping until 11:30! We had passed our magic “pay for a breakfast buffet 3 minutes before it turns into lunch” time. Oh well, we had bigger issues- like what to do that day! (Our 11:30 wakeup was made more amusing to us by the fact that Sandy and Jeff were with friends in NYC- where it was already 2:30 in the afternoon!)

We wanted to see some sort of burlesque show while in Vegas. I wasn’t really interested in an overpriced strip club. I (and David) wanted something a little more interesting and exotic. I was thinking something along the lines of Dita Von Teese, but David had found a crazy burlesque type show called “Bite.” I’d link it for you, but I’m at work and don’t quite trust it to be SFW, considering it’s a “topless revue.” We had it recommended to us, and at first I thought it sounded lame. Erotic vampires? Lord Vampire searching for the perfect female? But as we read more about it, it started to seem kind of cool. There are many ways to get 50% off each ticket, so we decided that this would be our nekkid Vegas show.

“Bite” is at the Stratosphere, so once we were dressed we decided that we’d walk there to get the tickets (you can’t order ahead of time with the coupon) and stop somewhere for food on the way. We ate at IHOP which was kind of lame and almost as expensive as the Circus-Circus breakfast buffet! But we wanted somewhere cheap because that night was our big fancy splurge meal.

Stratosphere is FAR. And it was hot! It’s true that things seem misleadingly close in Vegas. We took in some of the scenery, like empty lots, bilboards and the Sahara. And this:
Gosh, maybe we should have just taken the bus.

We got our “Bite” tickets and enjoyed the Strat’s air conditioned casino for a few minutes. Then we hopped on the bus (which I highly recommend. $15 for a three day pass.) and took it to The Mirage.

The Mirage is quite lovely and home to our second-place Cirque show “Love.” There are plenty of Beatles references, like the Revolution bar. This place looks pretty cool and we wanted to come back at night, but we never found the time. Add that to the list of things to do on our next trip!
That’s David sitting in the “U.”

We had a little luck at the casino here. I think we came out $10 or $20 ahead. We also visited Seigfried and Roy.

It was already getting close to the time we had to head back to our hotel to change for our dinner reservations at 7, so we rushed over to Caesar’s Palace and the Forum Shops. We didn’t have much time, so we didn’t get to see any of the living fountains, or stop in every store that drew me in. I limited it to drooling over the really BIG time stores that I’ve never seen or been to. One of the big ones for me was Agent Provocateur. I spent five breathless minutes in this incredible lingerie store. I guess there are several places in the US where you can buy their stuff now, but for a long time I think Vegas was the only store. Someday, when I am thinner and can fit into their skimpy items, I am definitely splurging on something. Also, I love their crazy marketing and advertising.

The only other store in here that was a MUST for us was Vosges. We had the hot chocolate in the SOHO store when we were in NYC many Novembers ago. In honor of the 80-90 degree weather we were experiencing, I wanted to try their ice cream.

OMGDELICIOUS. I had the Naga, one of their original and most famous flavor combinations. It was a sweet Indian curry custard with hints of coconut and other spices. It was rich and creamy and amazing. David had the Red Fire, another classic of their flavors. Dark chocolate, ancho and chipotle chilies, and cinnamon. YUM!! They were both amazing. We also bought some goodies to take home with us, including the Comfort Food tower and a mini chocolate bar set. We left the Forum Shops feeling alive and decadent!

We promptly rushed “home” to change for our evening plans. We hadn’t even been out that long, so we didn’t have to deal so much with the draw of the big comfy bed. We changed and headed out to our first stop of the night, the Sirens of TI. This is the free show at Treasure Island. I guess they revamped it recently, as it used to be more of a pirate battle. Now it’s trying really hard to be soft core porn. The special effects and sinking ship were cool, though the lighting and fireworks of course would’ve been better had we seen it at night.

After that we caught a cab to the Hard Rock Hotel. We had dinner reservations at Nobu!! We got there a little early and had time to wander around and play some slots, where we won $50! Perfect timing, as we were heading into the most expensive restaurant of our trip.

I almost wish I had taken pictures, but I let myself hang out and enjoy the experience. The food was incredible. It was very possibly the best meal I’ve ever had. We started with Yellowtail Sashimi with Jalapenos and the Black Cod with Miso. WOW! The black cod was indescribable. Our server told us it was marinated in Miso for three days. It was served warm and it melted in my mouth. We also had an order eggplant with miso, because why not? It was good, but not as good as these “signature dishes.”

After that we moved on to some tempura, and got a couple pieces of asparagus and avocado tempura. The avocado was so interesting! We love avocado, but to taste it with a crispy outside and a hot creamy inside was certainly different.

We couldn’t eat at Nobu without eating sushi! I think our server was wondering how much we were going to eat, but we ordered anyway. We got an assortment of fish, like salmon and scallop, but the big momma of it all was the Toro. If you’ve ever had real Toro, you know what I’m talking about. This is the fattiest cut of the tuna; pink, tender, and melt-in-your-mouth. I think it was $18 per piece. It was worth it. It may have been the most amazing thing I have ever eaten.

We left in euphoria. How could we go home to Milwaukee after this?! I’m so glad we chose Nobu for our fancy dinner. Our bill was just under $200 after tip. Including that toro! I think we would’ve been well over $200 if we had splurged at one of the other restaurants we were considering, like Le Cirque or Aureole.


We floated off to a cab and let it whisk us away to the Stratosphere. Our night was only just beginning! We played penny slots and got a little tipsy on free alcohol before our show time. We had paid a little extra for up-front seats. They were right next to the stage!

So… “Bite.” You should see it, if you’re ever looking for that kind of entertainment in Vegas (with the 50% off coupon). It was cheesy, but it didn’t take itself to seriously. The dancing was acrobatic. It was like a cross between a strip club, a cheerleading competition, and Cirque du Soleil. With a classic rock soundtrack. It was long too! Props to those girls for dancing forever! The topless part wasn’t really that much more exciting, but whatever. The girls were athletic and fun and some of them had major kickass attitude. We had a good time!

After that spectacle we waited for a bus to take us to the “old downtown”/Freemont St. The buses are nice, but we had bad luck with them. Whichever way we WEREN’T going, we’d see several buses pass before having one come on our side. That was lame, and we ended up getting downtown after midnight. I think the giant light display must shut off then, so we didn’t get to see the crazy stuff there. We played some slots at some of the “classic” places like the Golden Nugget and Binions. It was kind of dead though, and we weren’t really winning much, so we went to catch the bus back after a couple hours.

I might have gotten us a big lost and we waited for the bus on a very deserted part of Las Vegas Boulevard. I was totally creeped out, even though we didn’t see anyone or anything scary. We probably only waited 15 minutes for a bus, but it felt much longer. It was a relief to get on that bus and head back to our hotel. We went right to bed, as we had a full day of plans. We were going to use our last day in Vegas to the max.

I’ll recap our final day in my next entry. I want to go back so badly!


One Response to “Calgon, Take Me Away”

  1. cupcakes Says:

    its about time you updated this…. oh vosges, i miss you so… the red fire is my favorite of the ice creams as well. if you won more money, you could’ve gone to bartolotta at Wynn. next year…

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